Eating our Way through Wisconsin

Posted by ilana

Nov 10

Last weekend Kirios and I flew out to Wisconsin to visit his friends who live out there. Despite my lingering head cold, I had a lovely time. Madison was a really cute interesting town. (Ok, technically it’s a city, but if the residents call it a town, I can too!) They have lots of interesting architecture, independent stores, and vegetarian/vegan friendly restaurants and cafes. The university community is vibrant, and on game-day the streets were full of red, including the especially amusing “game bibs” – red and white striped overalls. But our hosts assured us that the students weren’t the only thriving community within Madison, and that lots of the city’s events were very family friendly. In fact, Madison reminded me a lot of Seattle, near University of Washington, where my brother and sister-in-law live. Only without the tall buildings!

Kirios and I flew into Milwaukee on Thursday night, and our hosts took us to a German inspired pub for a late-night snack. I ordered beer bread with honey butter, and got a bigger loaf than expected. On Friday, we were on our own for a while, and we took a walk down Madison’s main drag, State Street. We stopped in a feminist book store, and partook in a lot of window shopping and browsing in little shops. We enjoyed tea and a scone in a busy café with a lot of sunlight, and then we toured the state capitol building. The Wisconsin Capitol building is a massive domed structure with a variety of imported marble and other stones and a plethora of allegorical murals. It’s quite the site, and I enjoyed having a tour guide point out fossils captured in the stones and random Wisconsin history. The site from the capitol was nice too, and Kirios and I spent quite a bit of time enjoying the unseasonably warm and sunny day from the dome’s observation deck.

Our friend met up with us at the capitol and we all grabbed a slice of pizza at Ian’s Pizza. Although we stuck to more traditional varieties, their selection of pizzas included mac’n’cheese (their all-time best selling slice) and chicken pot pie. On the way back to the car, we stopped to pick up some popcorn. Kirios had been begging for it since we first saw a cart selling it outside the Capitol. The store we stopped in advertised “Chicago Style” popcorn. The vendor explained that it was a combination of cheddar flavored popcorn and popcorn coated in caramel. It sounded good to me, so we went with that. We weren’t disappointed with the results.

After resting for a couple of hours, we were all excited to go to The Old Fashioned, a popular Wisconsin inspired restaurant and brewery. Unfortunately, it was too popular. Despite being a very large space, there was a two-hour wait by the time we arrived! Damn parents’ weekend. (Though I’m told it’s difficult to get in every weekend.) We wandered around for a while before finding an Indian restaurant with a not-so-long wait. By then, we were starving, so Kirios and I split a vegetarian appetizer sampler. I had baingan bharta, a roasted eggplant dish, our friends had chicken dishes, and Kirios ordered lamb vindaloo – as spicy as they would serve to an Indian. His sinuses were cleared out for a while, despite the mango lassi he ordered to counter the spice, and large basket of garlic naan we all shared.

We made it back to theCapitol/State Street area on Saturday around 11:30 and checked out the last weekend of Madison’s outdoor farmer’s market. And let me just say – it was the most impressive farmer’s market I’ve ever explored. Kirios was extremely satisfied by the endless samples of fresh Wisconsin cheese. I’ll admit it, I enjoyed them too. But I was a little scared by the cheese curds. (Completely unfounded – but as I’ve already mentioned in this blog, cheese can be scary to me sometimes! They taste pretty much like cheese – but with a spongier texture, like the haloumi cheese from Cyprus.)

In addition to cheese, we sampled produce, salsa, and jams. Even bits of cheesecake. We stopped by a popular stand for cheese-y bread, but were told they were sold out already. We settled for spicy cheese empanadas, which weren’t bad. But our friends assured us there was no comparison. We hit up State Street for some sodas to quench our thirst, and then we walked down to the University and visited their Chazen Museum of Art. I love art museums, and enjoyed the collection of Nevelson and Chamberlain sculptures, but we were all pretty exhausted by then.

After the art museum, we had a 3pm lunch/dinner at The Old Fashioned. (We planned ahead this time) I was disappointed that I wasn’t able to sample their beers with my head cold and all, but we enjoyed a large order of beer-battered cheese curds, and I had a very yummy roasted vegetable sandwich. Burgers and fish sandwiches satisfied everyone else.

Despite being incredibly full, we made a stop at Greenbush Bakery – a kosher donut shop! Unfortunately they were out of their signature glazed donuts, but they had plenty of other flavors to drool over. Kirios was disappointed that I didn’t have it in me to share the final donut we bought together. But it was a very full day of eating! That evening, instead of going out for snacks, we went to a vegan friendly coffee shop for lattes, soy chais, and I personally had warm apple cider.

Sunday our friends drove us back to Milwaukee to catch our flight home – but not before stopping at an Indian buffet first!

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Filed under: Food, Travel, Trying New Things

Leading him on or Letting him Down?

Posted by ilana

Nov 2

You know that feeling when you’re on an amazing date with someone and you think you’re living in a movie? You laugh all night. He wins you a stuffed animal at the carnival. She holds your hand and it feels like magic. It starts raining suddenly and you kiss. This is the start of something epic. End scene.

Unfortunately, we’re not always starring in our own rom-coms. More often than not, your “date” may have a different interpretation of the events transpiring than you do. You think she’s your leading lady, she thinks you’re the Shakespearean fool, a supporting actor at best. Recently, a good friend of mine – we’ll call him Matt, has fallen victim to this plotline. And how could you blame him. One night Matt was hanging out with his crush Caroline. They danced and had drinks at a nightclub. Then they went to an arcade for car racing, zombie shooting, and air hockey. It sounded like a great night, and Matt was on cloud nine. What could be better? The next day! Matt and Caroline headed to the beach with a bunch of friends. While there, Matt managed to sneak Caroline away from the group for a bit – they found a private cove and embarked on a little rock climbing adventure. Pink sand. Blue water. Mountains on one side of them, the ocean on the other.  Matt knew – this was the start of something epic…

Or at least he hoped. But what you haven’t heard is the back story – Matt had actually developed feelings for Caroline a while back. Matt eventually gained the courage to tell Caroline how he felt, and she politely told him that she just wanted to be friends. Matt was disappointed, but when Caroline moved away, it made things easier on him. Six months later, Caroline moved back to town, and she was anxious to hang out with her good friend. While she was away, Caroline had started seeing someone else. Matt knew that she was in a relationship, and wanted to just be friends. But when they started hanging out again, that familiar spark reappeared. Finally, after these movie-esque pseudo-dates, Caroline asked Matt to catch a movie with her one night. Matt, aware of his escalating feelings and the fact that Caroline had a boyfriend, decided that this was the perfect opportunity to find out once and for all if Caroline could ever see him as more than a friend. Unbeknownst to Matt, and to his great dismay, Caroline decided to invite several other friends to join them at the movies that night. It was the last straw for Matt – he confronted her about his feelings, and again, Caroline told him she just wanted to be friends. Matt was angry, he felt that Caroline had led him on.

I feel bad for my friend Matt; I can definitely sympathize with his feelings of rejection and disappointment. But I’m not sure if his anger is justified. Caroline told him once that she only viewed him as a friend. He partook in those outings with her knowing that she had a long distance boyfriend – a good indication that her heart was with another. And is it so crazy for two friends to go to a bar? An arcade? Or the beach with additional friends? If Matt didn’t have feelings for her, his perception of those days would have been very different. If it had been me making plans to go to the movies with Matt instead of Caroline, and I had ended up bringing more friends along, I’m confident he would have said “the more the merrier.”

So is Caroline at fault for leading Matt on? Should she have behaved differently – anticipated that he still had feelings for her and reaffirmed the fact that her feelings were purely platonic? Maybe – I wasn’t there, and I don’t know her. Maybe there were giggles, winks and hair twirls that gave Matt the wrong idea. But sometimes bubbly personalities can be interpreted as flirty. Who knows what her story was. But I can say that I’ve been in a similar situation before – and it’s not easy to be on the other side of the fence either.

When I was a freshman in college, a good friend of mine, Zack, had a crush on me. Two weeks before classes let out for the summer, Zack asked if I would go on a date with him. I was a bit blindsided, but I told him truthfully that I just wanted to be friends. When we returned from summer break, I found myself putting on the kiddy gloves around him. No more friendly hello hugs. No more asking for special favors. I liked spending time with him, but I was sensitive to the fact that his feelings were different than mine, and I didn’t want to give him any false hope or encouragement.

The following spring I went abroad, and when I returned campus the following summer, the university was pretty deserted. Most underclassmen didn’t stay on campus, but being out-of-state students, Zack and I both wound up subletting on-campus apartments. With no car to visit my non-metro accessible friends on a regular basis, Zack and I naturally hung out a lot during the summer. We spent a day at the zoo and we went out for Indian food in Adam’s Morgan. I had a lot of fun at these outings; they made my summer much more pleasant.

And then one day in August my roommate and I were preparing to move out of our sublet and into our assigned apartment for the school year. Zack sent me an email wishing me good luck on the move. My roommate commented on how her boyfriend had completely forgotten it was our moving day and we simultaneously realized – that whole summer, all of those times I spent with Zack… I was enjoying the company of a friend, and he, like Matt, was living in a fairy tale. It had been over a year since I had told him I wasn’t interested in seeing him and I had hoped (and naively assumed) that those feelings were behind him. I felt terrible – I don’t think I ever “led him on,” but at the same time, I definitely saw how he could have misinterpreted or reframed the time we spent together. I would have hesitated to invite him out for some of those activities if I knew he would have viewed them that way. But what now? It’s not like I could just call him up, “Hey Zack, I know it’s been a while since we talked about this last. But just to be clear, I’m still not interested in being anything more than your friend. Ever.” Harsh.

In the end, I didn’t say anything to him. And a few weeks later the situation blew up when I started talking to a new guy at a party. Zack took my interest in someone else as an invitation for him to stick by my side the whole night. After that, I pulled away from him knowing that he couldn’t “just be friends.” At least not then. I always feel that I could have done more, said something to him, but I still don’t know what would have helped. So “Zack,” if you ever read this, please know – I tried my best. And one of these days both you and Matt both find lovely leading ladies. And it will be the start of something epic…

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Filed under: Relationships

Mr. Right and that Mushy-Gushy Couple

Posted by ilana

Nov 1

I never thought it would be me, but it’s undeniable; I’m part of that couple. You know who I’m talking about, that mushy-gushy couple that drives all single people crazy. Pet names. Inside jokes. Midday check-ins. Public displays of affection. Calling just to say good night. You name it, I’m guilty of it. At least I can safely say that Kirios and I don’t have “our song,” …yet.

I never thought it would be me. It’s not that I’m not the emotional type – I am. But I’ve never been a real girly-girl. Throughout school I was always involved in a lot of activities and clubs, and I wasn’t willing to let anyone get in the way of my independence and the activities that I wanted to partake in. But shortly after I started dating Kirios things started changing. He sends me a mushy-gushy text message and instead of pretending to vomit, I send one right back. He’s thinking of me, and I’m thinking of him – and of course there are butterflies and rainbows and lots of happy fairy dust.

Sometimes it’s excessive, I’ll admit. But it’s nice to be with someone that evokes those mushy-gushy feelings from you. Obviously there are limits when it comes to those couples. Rubbing your significant other’s tummy while a guest at the dinner table, freaking out when your call isn’t returned within 20 minutes, and of course partaking in activities that should be saved for the bedroom – or at least an extremely crowded bar, are all offenses I’ve witnessed. (And hopefully not committed) Clearly some people and some couples are naturally mushier than others. And I’m no relationship expert, but if you never have any mushy-gushy feelings for your significant other, chances are, you aren’t with the right person.

The other day, I was catching up with a good friend – let’s call her Lauren. Lauren told me she had recently broken up with her boyfriend. They had been together for a few months. He was a bit older, and it always seemed to me like he was interested in settling down while she was still in school and figuring out her life. Lauren’s boyfriend would call her every day and she frequently forgot to call him back. She felt bad and knew she should be better at remembering, but she also didn’t think he was justified in getting upset when he didn’t hear back after only four hours. Lauren’s never been great about keeping in touch with people when she’s busy with work and school. I know it’s cliché, but I couldn’t help telling her – when you’re with the right person, you’ll be thinking about them enough that you’ll want to call. You’ll even want to call regardless of whether he called first.

Today I was chatting with another friend of mine about her love life. Over the past year and a half, she’s kept me up to date on her trials and tribulations in the dating world. It’s almost always the same story with her – she meets a guy who seems pretty cool and they start dating. The guys start falling for her, and she’s not really sure how she feels about him. So she builds up a wall and doesn’t let him in emotionally, but keeps dating him to see if she develops stronger feelings. Inevitably, after a couple days, weeks, or even months, she still isn’t feeling it and breaks off the relationship. But today her story was different – she’s finally met Mr. Right. I’m not saying she’s met her soul mate and that they’re going to get married and have lots of happy adorable children – they just started seeing each other and I definitely don’t have a crystal ball. But I do know that this is the first time her eyes lit up while discussing a guy. She told me about the cute text messages he sends her, and how she can’t stop spending time with him. She’s been introducing him to her friends and she even used the word butterflies at one point. So I guess even the most independent of us could be just a few dates with Mr. Right away from being that mushy-gushy couple.

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Veal to the Rescue

Posted by ilana

Oct 31

For the past week Kirios and I have both been battling colds. His throat started hurting first, so naturally I blame him this time. But for all intensive purposes, we’ve both had the same symptoms – congestion and phlegm, mostly in the mornings and evenings. Nothing too debilitating, but especially with a long weekend trip toWisconsincoming up on Thursday, we both realized that we needed to take time to rest.

Last week I spent every evening at home, except Friday, which I spent watching movies at Kirios’ house. This is very uncharacteristic of me, as I tend to get stir-crazy, especially since I moved into a one bedroom at the end of the summer, sans roommate camaraderie and a cable subscription. During the daytime, I generally felt decent enough to get along fine at work. So on Friday when I worked from home, I was up for running some errands. During my lunch break, I went to the kosher store to pick up a frozen duckling. Kirios and I agreed to celebrate our second “semiversary” (a.k.a. eighteen months of dating) by cooking a kosher duck together, since duck is a very special treat for me. Our semiversary is on November 8th, so we plan to cook it the following weekend. But since it will take time to defrost and prep, and we’ll be away this Friday/weekend, I thought it was best to pick it up now and be safe. Plus I had a groupon for the kosher store which was expiring anyway!

While at the kosher store, I couldn’t help but browse. My freezer has a good supply of frozen chicken legs from Costco and some ground beef from my local Giant, so I wasn’t planning to make any purchases aside from the duck. But when I saw that veal cutlets were a daily special, with a package large enough for two priced at $6.29, I couldn’t resist. Veal is a real treat for me, and I had only cooked it myself once before, while studying in Rome.

Saturday was especially cold and gross out, with the Nor’eastern storm passing through, so I spent the whole day at home, mostly in front of the TV trying to rest up. I was super excited when Kirios decided he was feeling well enough to come over for dinner and provide me with a little company for a couple of hours. I threw some potatoes and sweet potatoes with rosemary and olive oil into the oven so they would get nice and crispy. When Kirios arrived, we made veal schnitzel – coating the veal with egg and then a combination of bread crumbs and spices before frying it in hot oil. Kirios did the frying, since the oil scares me a bit, and I must say, he did a superb job. The veal was cooked to perfection. We prefaced the veal and potatoes with some butternut squash soup. While it wasn’t homemade, it was nonetheless appreciated by two under the weather individuals on an unseasonably cold day. It’s safe to say that it was one of our favorite meals we’ve cooked together in a while, and it saved an otherwise crummy day!

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Running off to Europe

Posted by ilana

Oct 27

Yesterday morning my boss and I sat down together to compile a manuscript for our publishers in preparation of releasing revisions to our purchasing policies – exciting, right? We looked out the window, it was a beautiful sunny day, and our conversation began to wander. Art exhibits opening around town, the best exhibits we’ve been to, and naturally, before we knew it we were discussing places to go inEurope. My boss spent several years living abroad with his family as a teenager, and since learning of my time studying art history in Rome, we frequently discuss our time there. He told stories of watching the sun rise on train rides, bull fights in Spain, and art and food in Paris. “The time to go off and explore Europei s while you’re in your 20s,” he said. And he assured me that if I wanted to spend a few weeks away he would help make sure my leave was approved.

My heart ached. It was only 9:30am and I already felt like I was wasting my life by being at work. I wanted to travel, eat, breathe, and appreciate the art and culture of Europe. When I got back to my desk, I couldn’t help but look up air fares and travel times. How much would it cost to fly to Paris for Valentine’s Day and stay through my birthday? How long would it take to get from the French Riviera to Northern Italy? I could visit Brussels and Amsterdam, or Switzerland and Austria. I’m young, I’ll have enough vacation time, and I do have savings. I emailed Kirios – forget taking me some place warm this winter, let’s run away to Europe!

I was so tempted. Conflicted by societal expectations to work a 9-5 job (or in my case, 8-4), and saving up to have kids and buy a house out in the suburbs, and the restlessness of someone who spent four months in Italy and dreamed of returning. If only I were still in college. If only I had a job that required oversees travel. If only I could justify a trip like that right now…

After work last night I signed on to Skype to catch up with one of my best friends from growing up in Pittsburgh. She’s living in Salzburg and studying opera. She travels for singing gigs around Austria and Germany. She’s quite talented and her teachers are convinced that she’ll be able to have a career in opera if she continues to travel and live abroad. Ignoring the part focused on being completely tone-deaf, my jealousy of her bohemian artist lifestyle waned when I considered the trade-off she had made. I may not be super excited and passionate about my job all of the time, and gulping down a Starbucks while running errands certainly doesn’t have the same appeal as sitting outside a café sipping a cappuccino while discussing philosophy with a friend. But I live near my family and friends who I love, I have my own home and belongings to fill it with, and I am able to communicate fully with those around me – allowing me to fully express myself and form relationships. When I considered the sense of stability and other wonderful aspects of my life, my stir-craziness waned a bit too.

Don’t get me wrong – I still want to run off to Europe for an incredible adventure one of these days… But I suppose I’ll make it a shorter trip so I can continue saving up for the kids and the house one day in the future too.

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Here ye, Here ye!

Posted by ilana

Oct 26

Renaissance Festival: Fun for families and Those with Fetishes

This past Sunday Kirios and I made our second annual outing to the Maryland Renaissance Festival. When it comes to things like fairs and festivals, we’re both pretty much big kids. And we always love to travel and sightsee and take pictures, especially since Kirios bought a dSLR last fall. So I donned my medieval princess tiara (purchased at Medieval Times; it was a gift from my childhood friend during our 8th grade class trip to New York) and a purple sweater to match, and we drove out Crownsville, Maryland.

The festival features a great array of fun food, games, shops, and people watching. Last year, Kirios and I enjoyed getting lost in the maze and shooting bows and arrows at the archery booth. Kirios climbed a “castle” wall and tested out his ax throwing skills, and we watched the tail-end of a jousting tournament. We had lots of fair food, including a giant turkey leg for Kirios, mead, and some chocolate covered strawberries at the end of the day. This year, we were already exhausted from last week’s holiday celebrations and multiple birthday festivities the evening before, so we spent more time strolling through the shops, soaking in the atmosphere, and enjoying the beautiful autumn day. And we people watched.

The Renaissance Festival attracts all sorts of people – families come for the day, enthusiasts purchase season passes. College students and sports fans are easily spotted in the crowd. And then there’s the collection of freaks with fetishes – I mean this in the nicest possible way, I think it’s great that the fair has become a gathering place for people with a lot of distinct interests and past times. There are all sorts of people who have invested in expensive Renaissance fare – elaborate, often beautiful costumes and chalices, handcrafted jewelry and accessories. Despite the popular “boob shelf” corset byproduct, of which I am not a fan, these guests’ outfits enhance the experience for festival goers such as me. There are people who just like to dress up in general – Star Wars fans, storm troopers, Darth Maul, and the princess Natalie Portman was in those newer movies; a girl in an inflatable Austin Powers Fat Bastard get up, and young kids starting their Halloween celebrations earl, and young kids starting their Halloween celebrations early. Then there are the people who dress in kilts, some folks sport fairy wings, others wear nymph and satyr horns or bushy fox tails, some wear shackles or carry whips, and there are multiple shops which sell leather masks. Individuals accessorized in this matter usually incorporate more traditional Renaissance garb into their outfits as well– but really, in what other public venue is it socially acceptable for these to be worn and displayed with pride by people of all ages? It definitely makes you wonder what these people are like in every day life. Are they our teachers? Accountants? Bosses?

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Filed under: Events

‘Tis the Season

Posted by ilana

Oct 24

’Tis the Season

Finally the whirlwind of the Fall Jewish holiday season has come to an end. I love the fall holidays (minus the lack of food on Yom Kippur thing, of course) and look forward to the special foods and traditions each year. But since finishing school, they’ve become a lot more exhausting. Traveling to see family, making time for synagogue, cooking all of your favorite recipes, and entertaining – heck, just being a guest for holiday dinner parties, gets to be a lot events and effort.

Just about everyone has heard of Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur, so when I take off of work and head home (or to Baltimore to stay with family friends for Yom Kippur, usually) no one is surprised. Friendly coworkers ask me how my holidays were and I can usually even benefit by sleeping in for a couple of extra hours. But after Yom Kippur, we the Chosen People get overloaded with more – Sukkot, Shemini Atzeret, and Simchat Torah. While these holidays are less well known than the “High Holy Days,” they are an integral part of the fall holiday season, and are observed with just as much effort by traditional Jews.

For me, observing Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur are non-negotiables, but as I’ve entered the abyss of “adulthood” I’ve had to make some compromises and trade-offs to keep me sane. I decided that taking off from work for multiple days every week for all of Tishrei (the Jewish month) would not be the best way to allocate my annual allotment of vacation time. Instead, I typically spend about half of my vacation days each year celebrating holidays with my friends and family inPittsburgh – usually Rosh HaShana and the first days of Passover in the spring. Even though I go to work, I still try to find ways to acknowledge the special time and celebrate these holidays with friends in the DC area.

This year I had the special privilege of introducing Kirios to Sukkot and Simchat Torah. (Let’s be honest – Shemini Atzeret is quite possibly the most marginal significant Jewish holiday.) Since Kirios was vacationing and visiting family in Cyprus during the holidays last year, he had already learned a lot about them. I had already overcome the hurdle of describing a lulav. (a collection of a palm, willow, and myrtle branches traditionally shaken with an etrog, citron, during the holiday – so you can see, if you haven’t grown up with this tradition, it’s going to sound a bit nuts!)

Since I live in an apartment building, I rely on celebrating vicariously through the meals my parents host in their sukkah at home in Pittsburghand on the kindness of being invited for meals and events by friends who do have sukkahs. This year, I was fortunate enough to visit two sukkahs. The first belongs to my friend from college and his parents, and every year they host a lovely open-sukkah party on Shabbat afternoon. They have an impressive spread of both dairy and parve treats, and it’s always a great time to gather with friends and enjoy the crisp autumn air. Last year I actually had a fever during this event, and was devastated that I missed it. But the beauty of the holidays is that they return the next year. The second sukkah I visited belonged to a friend I first met in USY and her housemates. We shared an intimate dinner together on the Sunday night of Sukkot, chatting about what we’ve been up to like any other night. But the following night I returned (this time with Kirios, who had returned from his trip to New York) for an open event my friend hosted – snacks, music, hookah, and overall chillaxing in her sukkah. It was Kirios’ first time being inside a sukkah, and he even shook the lulav and etrog. I enjoyed the dichotomy – a very laid back evening hanging out with a group of people, and at the same time observing the special, albeit odd, Sukkot traditions.

And then there was Simchat Torah… my very favorite holiday. When my mom was growing up, her synagogue on Long Island would give the children candy apples to mark the occasion. I was always a fan of the singing and dancing on the bimah, and my synagogue would hand out candy and miniature toy Torahs. Because I grew up in Squirrel Hill, which has so many synagogues in walking distance, I began to “shul hop” for the holiday each year starting in 9th grade. My conservative synagogue’s services would end around 8 or 8:30, and a group of us teenagers would start making our rounds to the orthodox and Chabad synagogues where the party (service) was still going on. Usually we’d wander home around midnight, in order to appease or parents. In college, I would first attend services at Hillel, and then join Chabad on the other side of campus where they would close down a traffic circle near the freshman dorms for dancing in the streets before proceeding onward to the Chabad house itself.

Since “becoming a grown-up” Simchat Torah has remained a special treat. This year, I coordinated with several of my go-to Jews, as well as Kirios and a non-Jewish friend/coworker of mine who was interested in participating in the festivities. We met at AdasIsrael, a large Conservative congregation which offers frequent young professionals programming and a $99 membership for those under 35 (not surprisingly, several of my friends and I are members there). Adas offered snacks and free libations for the young professional crowd in a room adjacent to their family services. It was a large who’s who, and I enjoyed catching up with friends and acquaintances – those I had planned to meet up with, folks I knew from college, even a girl from home in Pittsburgh. But I barely had time to mingle before being pulled into the other room for the traditional singing and dancing. When the services concluded, I rallied my troops and we hustled to get to Chinatown, where Sixth & I’s festivities were just ramping up. As we arrived, the crowd had flood outside to a blocked off I Street and circle dancing continued. I ran into more familiar old faces, I carried a Torah, and I even met a recently retired Postal Service employee (who worked in Government Relations with my friend who came along) who was one of the rabbis leading the service.

All in all, Sukkot and Simchat Torah were happy celebrations for me, and having Kirios experience some of the traditions as well made them extra special this year. But honestly, I’m tired. And I’m not disappointed that for the first time in a month there are no holidays to celebrate this week. Although, I suppose Halloween is just around the corner…

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Filed under: Holidays, Trying New Things

Come Together

Posted by ilana

Oct 22

While middle school is far behind me, I must admit, I have a bit of a clique issue. Many of my greatest friends from college are, well, a bit cliquey. They are all awesome people, which is in fact why I am friends with them. Individually, they are all nice outgoing people who are happy to hang out with a new face. But sometimes something happens when you get a few of us together in the same room. It’s as if they (we?) are so content talking amongst themselves that they see no reason to meet anyone else who may be at the same event.

The cliquey-ness is not a new diagnosis. It was already a well-known subject when we were in school. I had been close friends with a few of them since the very start of freshman year, but it took me about a semester to gain full membership status with everyone when I started hanging with the whole crew junior year.

Since graduating from college, we’ve all dispersed a bit – we have a friend who sails around the world working on a cruise ship, one who moved to Guam, and even a Marine Corps Officer who recently returned from Afghanistan. But there are still a bunch of us in the Greater DC area and when it comes time to throw a party, such as the one Kirios and I hosted for his birthday the other week, they all do their best to show up. And then the party splits in half; there’s them, and who ever else shows up – usually a hodgepodge of folks I’ve met since graduating, a few people I knew from before school that have wound up in the area, a coworker here and there, and now of course the friends I’ve made through Kirios. Some of the hodgepodgers know each other already, but regardless, they usually all meet and mingle.

This past weekend I attended a birthday party for my friend Rachel who I met through Kirios. It was a similar situation – a Sunday afternoon affair with an incredibly long window for people to show up. (There was less of an emphasis on drinks though, since no one had off this past Monday.)  Rachel and Kirios went to high school together and have remained good friends. Since I came into the picture, Rachel and I have become good friends as well, so I didn’t hesitate to attend her party solo with Kirios out of town for the weekend. At the party, other than the birthday hostess, there were a couple people I had met multiple times and even invited to past parties that I had hosted. There were also a bunch of people I had only met once or twice, at other events Rachel threw. One such acquaintance said to me, “How have you been? I haven’t seen you in forever! …It must have been… Rachel’s birthday last year already?!?” Of course, there were also a couple people I had never seen before in my life, but no matter. We all got together for a large game of Apples to Apples and were enjoying each others’ company. When that broke up, I talked to people about their jobs, relationships, and hobbies. (And of course their ever important sports-team alliances – it was a Sunday so I was naturally rocking my Hines Ward jersey.) At one point in the early evening I taught a bunch of people how to play Trivial Pursuit, and by the time I left to meet up with another friend for dinner, every one at the party hugged, waved, and/or wished me goodbye.

When I met up with my other friend for dinner, I told her how nice everyone had been at the party. Being one of my typical “hodgepodger” guests, we couldn’t help but compare with the party for Kirios’ birthday the week before. My friend suggested that I encourage everyone to play a game at a future party in order to promote more interaction, as we had at Rachel’s. In the past, I’ve always enjoyed a good game of Taboo or my Pittsburgh crew’s favorite, Time’s Up! But I typically try to go with the flow when I host parties, lest I overwhelm myself. (which I do quite frequently) So I have to wonder, what’s the secret to throwing a great party? Is it necessary to bring everyone together, or should you let it be – if those who want to meet and mingle are doing so, and old friends are having a nice time catching up amongst themselves, who am I to intervene? And if I do want to encourage people to forge new friendships, are games the best way to do it?

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Filed under: Birthdays, Parties

Blood Pressure & Chinese Food

Posted by ilana

Oct 19

In January 2008 I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease, which is a form of Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD). Right after I graduated the following winter I had a fairly intense flare-up of my disease symptoms and began taking Remicade, a biological treatment taken intravenously. Every so many weeks I go the doctor’s office and Laure, Physician’s Assistant/superhero puts a line in my arm. While a combination of Remicade and saline drips into my body, I enjoy a wonderful nap. This medication has been a god-send and usually allows me to ignore the fact that I have this chronic disease and eat/drink whatever I want.

In the beginning of the summer I was at the doctor’s office, preparing for my nap – I mean treatment. I stepped on the scale, picked out a polar-fleece blanket and neck pillow, (conveniently provided by drug reps, of course!) and put out my arm for Laure to take my blood pressure. She mentioned it was high. “Have you ever been told you have high blood pressure?” she asked. Before I could answer no, I started remembering several trips to various doctors over the past months. A few had in fact noted high blood pressure reading, and written them off as anomalies. “You walked to the office? I’m sure that’s why it’s a bit high. We’ll check again a little later.”

Being that I am a mostly healthy (ignore the Crohn’s Disease momentarily) 24-year old female, Laure was concerned by the fact that my blood pressure was still high after I fell asleep. She asked me to take my blood pressure every day for a week or so, and send her the results. Kirios’ parents kindly lent me a home blood pressure machine, and I began recording my readings. They were high, and it worried me. Kirios created a GoogleDoc for me to record my results, complete with a graph. I didn’t think my blood pressure graph should have a positive slope. When Laure told me to see a cardiologist, I wasn’t surprised.

It was official – I had high blood pressure. And that’s when it began – my craving for Chinese food. The instant my mother told me to avoid salty foods, I began dreaming about Chinese food. It’s not that Chinese is my favorite cuisine by any means, in fact, if I’m going to have Asian food, I usually prefer the freshness of Vietnamese food or a spicy Thai noodle dish. Chinese food is thick and greasy. It usually makes my stomach hurt, and always makes me feel like I pigged out. And of course, it’s full of sodium.

Despite my ever-present craving, I went months without eating Chinese food. I almost never eat out when I’m alone, and Kirios simply refused to have it with me since the blood pressure diagnosis. “But the cardiologist never really told me I needed to be on a low-sodium diet! He just said avoiding it in excess was a good idea. And that wasn’t until I specifically asked him about it!” I plead in vain. He wouldn’t budge.

Last month I made plans to have dinner with a friend when Kirios was busy. “How about Chinese?” I suggested. He loved the idea of Asian, but took me to his favorite pho joint. Still no Chinese food for me.

Then two weeks ago I went to the cardiologist and received great news – my blood pressure was low enough that I could stop taking medication for it. The doctor told me to continue taking my blood pressure at home, and in another two weeks we’d decide if I could discontinue it indefinitely. I called my mom to tell her the good news. “You should celebrate,” she said. “But don’t go out and have Chinese food or anything crazy like that!” So I continued to resist the temptation.

And then this past Friday I was working from home. It was a rainy morning. Kirios was going out of the town for the weekend, and while I had a busy Saturday and Sunday schedule, my evening was completely open. I thought back to the occasional rainy day in college when my roommates and I would defiantly declare it was too depressing to go out, and instead we ordered Chinese food and watched chick flicks. I knew my day had come.

Later that evening I ordered take-out from a small place a block away from my apartment. They had one of those special menus where you can order vegetarian versions of typical meals with various soy protein replacements, so I selected vegetarian General Tso’s chicken. I put a hearty portion on my paper plate, turned on Netflix, and indulged myself. The Chinese food was thick and greasy. It made my stomach hurt the next day, and it made me feel like I had pigged out. But at least I didn’t have to feel guilty about eating it while having high blood pressure!

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Filed under: Food

Gilad

Posted by ilana

Oct 18

Earlier today Gilad Shalit, an Israeli soldier captured by Hamas over five years ago, was reunited with his family in Israel. Rumors of the pending prisoner exchange first emerged a week ago on October 11th. My news feed on Facebook has gone crazy following the story ever since. Gilad’s release is a big deal in the international community and is rightfully receiving a lot of media attention– but I think the story has definitely resonated the most amongst my peers – young American Jewish professionals. Perhaps it’s because in another lifetime we could have been him.

Gilad was 19 when he was captured on June 25, 2006. So was I; Gilad is only six months older than me. While he and his counterparts growing up in Israelwere serving their mandatory time in the Israeli Defense Force, I was interning at the United Jewish Federation of Greater Pittsburgh and preparing for my second year of college at the University of Maryland.

In the past five plus years while Gilad was held captive, I studied abroad in Europe, earned a bachelor’s degree, started my first job and became financially independent from my parents. Forget my bat mitzvah, it was these past few years that I became an adult.

In the coming days, people around the world will continue to debate the terms of Gilad’s release. 1,027 jailed Palestinians for one Israeli. Jewish mothers will lament how pale and thin he looks. Today let’s just celebrate Gilad’s freedom and homecoming, the beginning of the rest of his life.

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