Yesterday morning my boss and I sat down together to compile a manuscript for our publishers in preparation of releasing revisions to our purchasing policies – exciting, right? We looked out the window, it was a beautiful sunny day, and our conversation began to wander. Art exhibits opening around town, the best exhibits we’ve been to, and naturally, before we knew it we were discussing places to go inEurope. My boss spent several years living abroad with his family as a teenager, and since learning of my time studying art history in Rome, we frequently discuss our time there. He told stories of watching the sun rise on train rides, bull fights in Spain, and art and food in Paris. “The time to go off and explore Europei s while you’re in your 20s,” he said. And he assured me that if I wanted to spend a few weeks away he would help make sure my leave was approved.

My heart ached. It was only 9:30am and I already felt like I was wasting my life by being at work. I wanted to travel, eat, breathe, and appreciate the art and culture of Europe. When I got back to my desk, I couldn’t help but look up air fares and travel times. How much would it cost to fly to Paris for Valentine’s Day and stay through my birthday? How long would it take to get from the French Riviera to Northern Italy? I could visit Brussels and Amsterdam, or Switzerland and Austria. I’m young, I’ll have enough vacation time, and I do have savings. I emailed Kirios – forget taking me some place warm this winter, let’s run away to Europe!

I was so tempted. Conflicted by societal expectations to work a 9-5 job (or in my case, 8-4), and saving up to have kids and buy a house out in the suburbs, and the restlessness of someone who spent four months in Italy and dreamed of returning. If only I were still in college. If only I had a job that required oversees travel. If only I could justify a trip like that right now…

After work last night I signed on to Skype to catch up with one of my best friends from growing up in Pittsburgh. She’s living in Salzburg and studying opera. She travels for singing gigs around Austria and Germany. She’s quite talented and her teachers are convinced that she’ll be able to have a career in opera if she continues to travel and live abroad. Ignoring the part focused on being completely tone-deaf, my jealousy of her bohemian artist lifestyle waned when I considered the trade-off she had made. I may not be super excited and passionate about my job all of the time, and gulping down a Starbucks while running errands certainly doesn’t have the same appeal as sitting outside a café sipping a cappuccino while discussing philosophy with a friend. But I live near my family and friends who I love, I have my own home and belongings to fill it with, and I am able to communicate fully with those around me – allowing me to fully express myself and form relationships. When I considered the sense of stability and other wonderful aspects of my life, my stir-craziness waned a bit too.

Don’t get me wrong – I still want to run off to Europe for an incredible adventure one of these days… But I suppose I’ll make it a shorter trip so I can continue saving up for the kids and the house one day in the future too.