While middle school is far behind me, I must admit, I have a bit of a clique issue. Many of my greatest friends from college are, well, a bit cliquey. They are all awesome people, which is in fact why I am friends with them. Individually, they are all nice outgoing people who are happy to hang out with a new face. But sometimes something happens when you get a few of us together in the same room. It’s as if they (we?) are so content talking amongst themselves that they see no reason to meet anyone else who may be at the same event.

The cliquey-ness is not a new diagnosis. It was already a well-known subject when we were in school. I had been close friends with a few of them since the very start of freshman year, but it took me about a semester to gain full membership status with everyone when I started hanging with the whole crew junior year.

Since graduating from college, we’ve all dispersed a bit – we have a friend who sails around the world working on a cruise ship, one who moved to Guam, and even a Marine Corps Officer who recently returned from Afghanistan. But there are still a bunch of us in the Greater DC area and when it comes time to throw a party, such as the one Kirios and I hosted for his birthday the other week, they all do their best to show up. And then the party splits in half; there’s them, and who ever else shows up – usually a hodgepodge of folks I’ve met since graduating, a few people I knew from before school that have wound up in the area, a coworker here and there, and now of course the friends I’ve made through Kirios. Some of the hodgepodgers know each other already, but regardless, they usually all meet and mingle.

This past weekend I attended a birthday party for my friend Rachel who I met through Kirios. It was a similar situation – a Sunday afternoon affair with an incredibly long window for people to show up. (There was less of an emphasis on drinks though, since no one had off this past Monday.)  Rachel and Kirios went to high school together and have remained good friends. Since I came into the picture, Rachel and I have become good friends as well, so I didn’t hesitate to attend her party solo with Kirios out of town for the weekend. At the party, other than the birthday hostess, there were a couple people I had met multiple times and even invited to past parties that I had hosted. There were also a bunch of people I had only met once or twice, at other events Rachel threw. One such acquaintance said to me, “How have you been? I haven’t seen you in forever! …It must have been… Rachel’s birthday last year already?!?” Of course, there were also a couple people I had never seen before in my life, but no matter. We all got together for a large game of Apples to Apples and were enjoying each others’ company. When that broke up, I talked to people about their jobs, relationships, and hobbies. (And of course their ever important sports-team alliances – it was a Sunday so I was naturally rocking my Hines Ward jersey.) At one point in the early evening I taught a bunch of people how to play Trivial Pursuit, and by the time I left to meet up with another friend for dinner, every one at the party hugged, waved, and/or wished me goodbye.

When I met up with my other friend for dinner, I told her how nice everyone had been at the party. Being one of my typical “hodgepodger” guests, we couldn’t help but compare with the party for Kirios’ birthday the week before. My friend suggested that I encourage everyone to play a game at a future party in order to promote more interaction, as we had at Rachel’s. In the past, I’ve always enjoyed a good game of Taboo or my Pittsburgh crew’s favorite, Time’s Up! But I typically try to go with the flow when I host parties, lest I overwhelm myself. (which I do quite frequently) So I have to wonder, what’s the secret to throwing a great party? Is it necessary to bring everyone together, or should you let it be – if those who want to meet and mingle are doing so, and old friends are having a nice time catching up amongst themselves, who am I to intervene? And if I do want to encourage people to forge new friendships, are games the best way to do it?